For those who find themselves deeply involved in a long-distance relationship here is how to keep it going with nothing but positives.
Steps
- Make your significant other comfortable at all times. This is very important. Making her feel like she is the most spectacular thing that has ever happened to you is one of the most important things you can do.
- Be comfortable in conversation. With a long distance relationship, get used to being on the phone/computer for hours. It is your only way of connection to your significant other, therefore a vital part. Be able to talk about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. This could range from things you did as a kid, to past relationships you've had, all the way up to your best-kept secrets. It is important to talk about your childhood because it's something that everyone can relate to. Everybody did things that were special to them when they were young, and it is a good thing to talk about. People are comfortable talking about their childhood adventures, friends, and materialistic things. It is also important to talk about past relationships you have had. This might be a little bit of a touchy thing, but we all know that we want to know if our significant other has any dirty secrets we want to know about. Let her know the names of your old girlfriends, how old you were at the time you dated, and if you still maintain a friendship with them now. She'll be more comfortable knowing this. Your secrets are also very important. Make her feel like she knows you almost, if not better than you do yourself.
- Do things together. Defy the distance. Frequent communication is a great thing when it can be managed in a long distance relationship. However, constant communication over the phone alone may tend to drag people down in the long run. It's important to do other things together besides the usual phone call. Just think... people in short-distance relationships do not spend the majority of their time talking, but rather doing things with each other. Try to replicate this by finding things to do together such as watching a TV show or movie simultaneously.
- Send her Gifts. This doesn't mean to go out and spend your life savings on flashy jewelry or expensive handbags. Little gift packages, sent at random times will brighten her day and make her happy. If she likes candy, randomly send her a package of candy with a little love note inside. If you are an artist, sketch a picture of you two together and send it. Make a slide show of pictures that you have taken together and send it via media mail. Obviously, expect your wallet to get a bit lighter around her birthday and Valentines Day, or other holidays. But if you are in this for marriage or the long haul, she will probably prefer you save money for your future, rather than blow it all on jewelry. So be wise in your gift decisions.
- Plan visits. Nothing would mean more to you than to see her, and her to see you. Always have a next visit planned, however difficult it may be. Many people in long-distance relationships feel that it is unbelievably difficult to go for long periods of time without seeing their significant other. This is true, but the way I think of it, is that any amount of time is worth waiting for the person you love.
- Spend time with family. When you do visit, or vice versa, although you want to use a lot of your time to be together, it is very important (if you are living at home, or are a teenager) for your parents and family to get to know your significant other. Most families think long-distance relationships are a little unhealthy. I will tell you why. You are denying yourself the constant physical being with that person, and you spend all the time you have on talking, thinking about, or planning to see the person. This takes away time from your friends, family, and being social at all. Carefully construct times with your significant other of when you will talk. Maybe only talk during the day on Friday and Saturday and go out with your friends at night. This will help you maintain your friendships, while also maintaining your relationship (obviously, if you would not want her to drink/smoke with you not there, don't do it yourself).
- Be positive. Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a LDR is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives. Another positive points it that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, communicate better since you don't have "face-to-face" time and test your feelings. As long as you see the long distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.
Tips
- Be kind, and considerate.
- Don't be afraid to show your feelings/opinions.
- Maybe purchase a video camera for the computer, which would enable the possibility of video chat, helping you to get a more personal connection with your significant other. They can be purchased at any electronics store or online.
- Always be positive and accepting.
- Trust her over everything else.
- Actual handwritten letters are meaningful... especially when other forms of communication might not be going so well.
Warnings
- DO NOT be a jealous guy. This will make her believe that you do not trust her.
- Never get off the phone angry.
- As much as people taunt you about it,NEVER IS IT OKAY TO CHEAT, NO MATTER THE DISTANCE.
- Let the other person know on a regular basis that they are worth the struggles of a LDR.
